If you love someone you think may have PTSD, you may think that love is enough to help them. That is only partly true. If you love them enough, they you’ll be willing to start finding out what you need to know, to actually help them.
First, remember that PTSD can only enter into a person after they survive a traumatic event. That is why it is in the title, Post (after) Traumatic (wound) and then they change.
Did they survive something terrible and then start to change? If you love them, then you know their character enough to know when they are not acting like themselves.
If they did, then look on the MAYO Clinic link to the symptoms and causes of PTSD. It is a tricky thing to figure out because of when the changes can start showing up.
Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms may start within one month of a traumatic event, but sometimes symptoms may not appear until years after the event. These symptoms cause significant problems in social or work situations and in relationships. They can also interfere with your ability to go about your normal daily tasks.
MAYO CLINIC
Read the symptoms and see if you notice what is happening in the person you love. If you think it may be PTSD, then they need to be diagnosed. Try to find a trauma specialist in your area. If they are reluctant to go, then do not try to push, but try to ease them into it by letting them read what you just read. Show them videos on people talking about PTSD, (like what you find here) because most of the time, they are afraid to admit they need help.
Not knowing what it is, or that they have noting to be ashamed of, helps them find hope. Knowing they can heal with help, helps them seek it. Have patience with them. Learn as much as you can about PTSD so you can fight for them when they cannot fight for themselves.
You will also gain a better understanding as to why they will not do things they liked to do before with you. It gets you past feeling as if there is something wrong with you, when you understand what is going on with them.
Understand that at the same time they are pushing you away, they need to cling to you the most. They don’t want you to see the pain they are in, so they cover it up.
If you love them, you know them and their qualities, just as much as you know what drives you crazy about them. The problem is, they don’t know their qualities are still there buried under the pain. If all they can see is bad, they want to stop feeling everything. That is why many of them turn to drinking or drugs. They want to get numb. If that happens, then the damage to your relationship is building onto whatever pain they already have. The sooner you begin, the better.
It isn’t going to take magic to love them enough but it does take a fierce attitude to be willing to fight for them.
“But if I could reach you some way
If I knew the magic it would take
To love you good enough on the outside
And make you feel it on the inside
Maybe I could make you stay“
This is why today the featured video is Marilyn McCoo, If I Could Reach You.” because yes, you can!
