One minute you’re with friends who care about you, and you care about them. One minute, you feel as if you belong with them, and you feel they belong in your life. The next minute, you don’t trust them, won’t talk to them, stop going to see them and then you walk away from them. Did they change, or did you?
Why do we do that? Why is it so hard for us to see that surviving the cause of PTSD did change us? It is hard for us to see that our friends and people in our lives will not understand what causes they changes they see. They only know what they see until we explain what is behind what they see.
What happens to them because we don’t explain it? They blame themselves. They try to reach us and get us to talk. Sooner or later, they give up. We burned the bridges to them because we didn’t trust them.
“Friends all tried to warn me
But I held my head up high
All the time they warned me
But I only passed them by
They all tried to tell me
But I guess I didn’t care
I turned my back and
Left them standing thereAll the burning bridges that have fallen after me
Burning Bridges
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore”
Mike Curb Congregation
On the flip side is when they burn the bridge to us because they didn’t really care in the first place. Admit it. All of us assumed we mattered until we open our mouths and say exactly what we feel. With politics the way they are in this country right now, we see so many ending lifelong friendships and relatives stop talking to one another. People who get vaccinated and wear masks because they care about their health and the health of others, still care about those who show disdain for those who believe they have a moral obligation to others.
If we can see that, why can’t we see that even among “friends” there are some who are not what they appear to be at all? It happens because people are only human and human nature comes with the inner struggle between good and evil within themselves. We will have friends who choose to walk away from us if we open our mouths and share what is going on in us. We also have friends who will stay by our side and help us heal. We won’t know which one they are until we give them a chance and ask for help.
What if you are healing and want to discover what the people you cut out of your life would have done if they knew? Ask them. Talk to them and give them the chance now, that you didn’t give them before. Don’t just assume it is a bridge that was burned down both ways when you had all the matches and they were getting the firehose.
Remember, it’s your life…get in and drive!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
