Life can suck at times. It can be like you are the last one in a race to reach the finish line. You watch everyone run past you, and you try harder. You watch some people cheat, jump into a vehicle or take shortcuts, but you stay on the path you are supposed to be on. When your legs are ready to give up, you crawl your way to that magical line. Even though you were the last to cross it, you did not give up until you reached it.
There was something inside of you telling you that you don’t need to win to be victorious. You just had to finish and you did. That something pushing you beyond where you thought you could go, was in your soul.
“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure upAm I more than just the sum of every high and every low
You Say
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know”
Lauren Daigle
None of us are really alone even though we have been conditioned to believe we are. We see others celebrating when we are grieving and we feel alone. We see someone on Facebook with hundreds of friends, and we feel lucky to just have a few to talk to. How many times have you been hungry but did not want to go into a restaurant by yourself, as if eating alone in your car was better than sitting at a table? The last time I did, I noticed there were others sitting alone too.
When I was traveling as a Chaplain, I had to stop several times on the road to eat and rest. I didn’t think twice about it because I usually talked to staff or sat quietly listening to others. As the years went by I notice more and more parents sitting with small children, not talking to one another because they were too busy on their cell phones. I may have been sitting alone but I bet I was less lonely than they were. I learned to be good enough.
For most of my life, I put others first and me last. Then I was running out of strength to be able to help anyone else, until I learned how to help myself and take my own advice. I didn’t have to be more than I was. I didn’t have to have all the answers. I didn’t have to say “yes” all the time when someone needed something more than I had left to give.
It no longer mattered that people were better at doing some things than I was. It didn’t matter anymore if some cheated to get what they wanted, because I was grateful I got what I needed. I found peace with myself and the rest of the world when I learned who I was. The only way for me to reach that blissful line was through faith and knowing, I didn’t have to be more than I was because someone was there for me and was all I needed. That was, and is, God.
With faith, you are never really alone. You realize you don’t have to be perfect at anything. You understand that you are not in control over what others do, but are only in control over what you do. You learn to forgive so that the people who hurt you, no longer have power over your life.
If you have PTSD, that is all possible for you, if you put “you” on your to-do-list. You cannot heal until you learn the power to do it is already within you. You may crawl to the finish line but I assure you, when you get there, what you had to go through to get there, was worth it. Every step you take after that, gets easier.
Remember, it’s your life…get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
